Thursday, 3 September 2015

A Change In Perspective

September is famously known as the January of the fashion industry - it's significant not only because it's the beginning of a new A/W season; for many it means a new academic year, a fresh start and a new take on the everyday routines we so happily abandoned upon the arrival of summer.

Back in June, I had such big plans for how I was going to utilise all of this new creative energy and abundant free time I was so sure were going to hit me once I moved home for summer. It was goodbye exams and lectures and nights out along Harcourt St., and hello green fields and the comforts of home.

I like to think I started off on a relatively good note - I was tweaking elements of my design, publishing posts here and there, constantly snapping photos. Getting 20 or so posts out between June and July wasn't bad-going - then our trip to Paris rolled around and all thoughts of blogging and everything else went out the window for a few days.

When I came back from France, I began the whole mundane process of editing and uploading photos on a weak connection, and trying to organise and dissect elements of the trip to display them in a somewhat aesthetically-pleasing fashion, fit for the Internet - and about halfway through, I just gave up. I was tired, and bored, and completely lacking in motivation, and I just didn't bother in the end. The thoughts of writing up those posts lingered in the back of my mind for a few days, because naturally, I felt a little guilty about my radio silence, but then they too just disappeared.

Results rolled around, as did a couple of resits, and I had to realign my priorities for the month of August. All thoughts of writing, creating, photography, etc., took a backseat to the point where I'd almost completely forgotten I had a blog at all. 

In the last few days, I've been trying to reassess my intentions with all of this, thinking about why I'd started, and where I planned on going. I've talked about this a few times before, and this isn't so much a 'oh my God I don't compare with the million and one other online creators, why am I even trying' crisis - it's more so a 'what am I doing with this, and am I even bothered enough to continue?' problem.

Of course, I do have full intentions of continuing - it's nearly two years since I started this, and I don't plan on giving up entirely. I just need to properly think it all through and decide what I'm actually doing, in terms of content and direction and whatever.

There are a few things that did put me off coming back to blogging, and things I've struggled to deal with in my muddled little mind for some time now. The idea of blogging had turned stale for me - everything had turned same-y and uninspiring, and the blogging world was severely lacking in fresh air. I can't open Pinterest without an influx of infographics telling me how I should be improving my 'Instagram aesthetic' and driving up SEO, etc. It got to the point where I was sat there thinking, who cares?

Looking at the world around us, it's very, very hard to try and think about organising an Instagram look or writing a detailed post on a new lipstick. Right now, people are fleeing a war-torn Syria in their thousands, for the more opportunistic lights of Europe, only to be held back by authorities or refused entries to countries.

I'm not sure if it's just me, but it's kind of hard to think about putting outfits together for a post when someone with as frighteningly crazy policy ideas as Donald Trump is leading the US Republican Presidency polls, and innocent people are still being killed by police forces because of the colour of their skin, and terrorist groups are still burning entire villages of people and destroying lives in the Middle East. It's really bloody hard, let me tell you.

The world terrifies me right now, sometimes to the point where I can think of nothing else. I sit and read these horrifying stories so often, and then get frustrated when few people seem to be as annoyed as I am. Apparently, the VMAs are of much more significance. Go figure.

So, as you can imagine, between all of this, and the usual everyday problems thrown in for good measure, blogging wasn't even in the realm of my mind. That saddens me because I did once love this, spending hours tapping away at my laptop, and taking photos I was proud of, and reading positive comments about things I'd written - I want to rekindle that love, and get back into the swing of regularly writing and sharing things with you all online, because I did love doing it.

I know I'm always talking about starting schedules and stuff but I'm just going to scrap all those lousy promises,and do it my way. Some of my favourite bloggers are the ones who'll write when they feel the urge too, and their posts are spontaneous and scattered but also full of life and enthusiasm and passion. I want to be 100% happy with what I'm creating, and I'd rather do so on the spur of the moment, because I want to, and not because I'm struggling to fill a spot on an editorial calendar.

It's not just the kids and the fashion world who should get a fresh start every September - I say we all should. I'm starting university again in two weeks (third year, yikes), and hopefully I'll soon have a new place to call my own for a few months in Dublin. I've missed the city lights so very, very much. If I make one September resolution, it's that I want to worry a little less about the minor things, and let life lead the way.

Clean slate, n'all that.
Ciara Pollock © . Design by FCD.